First time at a BDSM party?

What happens at a BDSM party?

No two parties are exactly alike. You will usually see fetish wear and different forms of BDSM play, such as spanking or bondage. Sexual activity may also take place.

You do not need to know everything in advance. Follow the event rules and respect other people's boundaries, play, and privacy. Ask an event monitor if you are unsure about anything. If you would rather meet us at a café without play first, you can read about your first munch.

You choose whether to take part

You decide whether you want to play, watch, or mainly talk to people. There is no expectation that you take part in BDSM activities.

This is still a BDSM party, not a regular night out. The venue and music are set up for play, and activities will take place in the room. If you need a break, you can use the lounge area.

When other people are playing

You may watch play in open areas, but keep some distance and do not interrupt. Do not join in without an invitation, and do not touch people, tools, or other equipment used in the scene.

You may ask to join or try something, but this must be agreed before play begins. A no must always be respected. For many people, a scene is not finished until aftercare is over. Give them space after the activity itself has ended.

Alcohol, rules, and questions

BDSM and alcohol do not mix well. We expect moderation, especially if you intend to play. Anyone who is visibly intoxicated may be asked to leave. Other drugs are not allowed.

The event lead and event monitors are introduced at the start of the party. They answer questions, help if something happens, and enforce the event rules. Speak to them if you see a rule being broken or are unsure about something.

Before you leave

Members run the events on a voluntary basis. Clear away your own cups, plates, and any equipment you have used. If you stay until the end, we ask you to help tidy and clean.